i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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