i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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