We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
