So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
babies were throwing up all over the place
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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