Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
