She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
