I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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