people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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