problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
