I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
