you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
