With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
