so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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