just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
