HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
