I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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