Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
