he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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