he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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