My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
