About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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