She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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