Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
