Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
