So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can u get pink eye on your cock?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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