there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
