Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
