what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
