They should really pass out barf bags in church
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
