So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
