try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
