I am spending my child support on dildos
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize