today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
