Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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