I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
