Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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