how can u be prego again
thus making me awesome and them whores
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
