the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
