don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Let's paint friendship bongs
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Boobs speak an international language.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
