i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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