i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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