This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
