Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
