In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize