well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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