Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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