That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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