just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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