Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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