youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
