and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize