need another drink. this is the easiest way
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize