Why is there bacon braided in my hair
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
