So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
