I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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