Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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