he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
