He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
