Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
two words...techno handjob
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
