The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
not ubering you a puppy
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
