i will never coherently bang her
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
